A Changed Relationship

I have so many thoughts running around in my head today. I really am trying to understand what has happened to my relationship with my daughter. We use to be so close....not a day went by that we didn't talk, now I am lucky to hear from her once a week. She seems so distant.

All of this brings back memories of my own Mother. She and my father were divorced or separated for most of my life. She never remarried. Her whole life was spent with us kids....me in particular. We stayed close while my children were small. She went on vacations with us and was a big part of our lives. When my kids starting getting older, I found that I kinda resented her going on vacations with us.....I still loved her, but wanted my family to myself or something.

I have always tried to be mindful of my feelings towards my Mother, when it comes to my daughter. I know she has to find her own way in this world and I guess growing away from me is just what all children do with their parents. I really thought we had something different than most Mother's and Daughter's. There was no generation gap. We shared the same zany sense of humor. We could talk about anything and again shared so much of the same views. Now, I feel overlooked. On her list of priorities, I don't think I even make the list anymore. There are so many examples, but the most recent was yesterday. She was out of town on her birthday so I told her to pick a day when she got back that I could come over, give her her presents and do a little celebrating with her. She told me the day and I got myself ready and went over for our visit. On my arrival at 11:30 she was doing her exercises, which she does religously. As she is finishing she is telling me that she has made other plans and didn't have time to let me know. Now, in this day and age, one can text, email, or call a person in a matter of just a few seconds, but I guess it just didn't seem important enough to her. She was all in a flutter, trying to hurry and make herself ready for her excursion with her friend. I said, "guess I'll just go", "happy Birthday" and I left. No matter how you look at it.....she was RUDE! I would never do anybody like that. If I make plans with someone, that's what I do and if not I would definately let the person know my plan had changed. Dr. Phil says, you teach people how to treat you, but I did not teach my daughter to be so disrespectful.

I know she loves me....just as I loved my Mother.

Where I Am Now

Here it is 2011. I am soon to be 57 and I find myself in a small....very small space of about 600 sq.ft. I know to the world looking in.....we must seem crazy, but in our quest for as much simplicity and freedom as one can have in this life, this is where we have landed.

I have no desire to live in a big house or own a new vehicle. It is the hunger for THINGS in our life that kept us like prisoners. We labored every day to maintain our American dream.....owning our home, driving nice vehicles.....keeping up with the Jones's, as they say.

I had no clue that there was any other way. It had been instilled in me since birth. I watched my Mother work every day of her short life. I think....if she could do it all over again would she do it differently? As I grow older and I see my life speeding by, like a runaway train, I know, with crystal clear certainty, that is NOT what I want. Unfortunately, we are not independently wealthy and we've not been avid savers, so we still rely on work, for now.

This little, 1 bedroom, green house holds, not only our last few pocessions, but the promise of the freedom we seek. As I see the rest of the world still laboring towards their dreams of things, I wonder WHY? In the end, when we are moments from closing our eyes for the last time, will it be a house or a car or any other THING our minds will be filled with or will it be the memories of a life that you chose to fill with all the love and adventure you could. We come into this world with nothing and leave it the same way, so why do we choose to carry that heavy load of things through out our lives?

2009

A new year starts tomorrow, but it is my reflection on this one that fills my thoughts. What a grand year this has been. Wayne and I have had one of the most memorable years so far. We traveled to Hawaii, Colorado, Mississippi, lakes and about and filled our lives with some very memorable moments. With our children and family close it has made our adventures that much better. We are experiencing the freedom that we always wanted. We go and do as we please, when we please.....it's GREAT! I actually feel like an adult.....no one to answer to. I am so looking forward to 2009, though the world is in kind of a mess right now, our little world is serene and fulfilling. I want lots more travel and adventure for Wayne and I. With old age creeping up on us, we surely have to seize the moment and I for one intent to. From here on out, it is the moon and the stars in our grasp all we have to do is rein them in. 2009......HERE WE COME!!!

Election Day

Today's the day
the votes are cast

Which one's gonna
fix the past

Turn out in droves
the lines are long

Must get the one
to right the wrongs

Each of us thinking
ours is best

He's the one
who'll pass our test

We think, ANY ONE'S better
than what we've had

Poor ole George W
for him, I am sad

Do you think, HE single handed
created our troubles alone

All the finger pointing
and the throwing of the stone

He's the one
with all the grief

His reign to end
is HIS relief

I anticipate a
big let down

The smiling faces
will turn to frown

The job is HUGE
and is gonna be rough

The Guy we elect
finds his tasks VERY tough

We shall see
if the one we admire

IS the one to run
our country, if not
our future's dire

The Vote

The last debate now over
proved to be quite
boring and mundane

Democrats STILL for Obama
Republicans STILL for McCain

Back and forth, right and left
we have to pick out the truth
amongst the lies

The vote draws near
they scramble about
mud slinging is on the rise

I'm quite perplexed
how do I vote,do I
vote for the one who lied least

Politicians and lying
go hand and hand, it's
just the nature of the beast

Democrats blame the Republicans
for our country's woes and mess

Republicans point the finger
at the Democrats, no wrongs
for them to confess

The stubborn Donkey and
the can't forget Elephant
the two shall never mix

With Closed minds and short
sightedness, OUR country
they CANNOT fix

WHY?

WHY, are there hairs
growing out of my chin

while my eyebrows
have become narrowed and thin

WHY, is my body
shaped more like a pear

more junk in my middle
that once wasn't there

WHY, is my face filled
with wrinkles and lines

to show of my age
through physical signs

WHY, when I listen
is it so hard to hear

I concentrate and try
but it still isn't clear

WHY, is my eyesight
that once was so keen

now, blurry on things
that once could be seen

WHY, do I get sleepy
in the middle of the day

like a child who's
worked hard, busy at play

WHY, do I ask why
they are common, I know

in time we ALL have them
they appear as we grow

The Debates

The debates are on
Mud slinging about

They spew their lies
Our tension, it mounts

Each wanting our vote
they prepare their attack

I'll reform Government
get Wall street back on track

Finger pointing to all
To themselves, they do not

One promising change
the other, HE fought

If I really believed
They had Americans at heart

I'd give them my vote
I'd do my part

I see no difference
just politicians at work

collecting our money
then going berserk

I can't truly say
one is better than the other

Their POLITICIANS, first and foremost
second job, for one, is MOTHER

I give them no praise
In their own minds, their GREAT!

It's scary and sad
cause, our country's at stake