A Changed Relationship

I have so many thoughts running around in my head today. I really am trying to understand what has happened to my relationship with my daughter. We use to be so close....not a day went by that we didn't talk, now I am lucky to hear from her once a week. She seems so distant.

All of this brings back memories of my own Mother. She and my father were divorced or separated for most of my life. She never remarried. Her whole life was spent with us kids....me in particular. We stayed close while my children were small. She went on vacations with us and was a big part of our lives. When my kids starting getting older, I found that I kinda resented her going on vacations with us.....I still loved her, but wanted my family to myself or something.

I have always tried to be mindful of my feelings towards my Mother, when it comes to my daughter. I know she has to find her own way in this world and I guess growing away from me is just what all children do with their parents. I really thought we had something different than most Mother's and Daughter's. There was no generation gap. We shared the same zany sense of humor. We could talk about anything and again shared so much of the same views. Now, I feel overlooked. On her list of priorities, I don't think I even make the list anymore. There are so many examples, but the most recent was yesterday. She was out of town on her birthday so I told her to pick a day when she got back that I could come over, give her her presents and do a little celebrating with her. She told me the day and I got myself ready and went over for our visit. On my arrival at 11:30 she was doing her exercises, which she does religously. As she is finishing she is telling me that she has made other plans and didn't have time to let me know. Now, in this day and age, one can text, email, or call a person in a matter of just a few seconds, but I guess it just didn't seem important enough to her. She was all in a flutter, trying to hurry and make herself ready for her excursion with her friend. I said, "guess I'll just go", "happy Birthday" and I left. No matter how you look at it.....she was RUDE! I would never do anybody like that. If I make plans with someone, that's what I do and if not I would definately let the person know my plan had changed. Dr. Phil says, you teach people how to treat you, but I did not teach my daughter to be so disrespectful.

I know she loves me....just as I loved my Mother.