These Stressful Times

With all my vitamin taking and exercising I have remained well........so far. Wayne, on the other hand has come down sick. He has a horrible cough and has almost lost his voice. I really feel that his cold would not be quite so severe if he hadn't picked up the cigarettes again. Yes, I hate to say it , but he has been back to smoking for about 2 months or so. Now, as bad as I hate to see him do something so adversely to his health, I will say.....so what!!! Ya know, we all have our vices, wether it be, over eating, drinking too much, popping pills, even those prescribed from a Dr. that we tend to want to over medicate ourselves with. We are a society of addicts. Our lives are so full of stress, even watching TV at night has become a nail biting experience. It is no more wrong to smoke a cigarette than to take a mind altering drug, like those prescribed to the vast majority of people who suffer from depression. I wish for us all, a country that would instead of bombarding us with pills, would give us time off from our stressed out lives. That's what we need....people......time off!!!. I wish Dr's would prescribe a long walk down a shady country road or a nap in a soft cozy hammock hanging in a tree and nothing but birds singing filling the air, with a warm breeze to calm the nerves. I know, we should do these things for ourselves, but we can't get passed what we keep being fed every day and that is you MUST work for that new car, bigger home, college for the kids......MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!!! It is so sad to me to think we live our whole lives getting up going to a workplace that most of us hate, to spend the entire day, come home to the family that has experienced their own stressed out crap, have a little interaction with these people, go to bed, start the whole thing over again. Over and Over till one day we wake up and we are OLD.....wow! then we get to retire. All our youth spent, we finally get to do what we want to....which is spend our days sitting and thinking where did my life go?? I'm OLD and TIRED and used up. WHY....OH, WHY did I want that new car every year....WHY, did I think I had to have a HUGE house when there was just two people to live in it. If we could just know back then what we know now, I know I would have definately strived for that freedom to come much much sooner. I'm not going to condem Wayne for smoking. The sad thing is that he really doesn't enjoy it like he did in his youth. The knowledge we have today is stressful in and of itself. Ignorance really is bliss. I remember when I too enjoyed smoking. I also remember when I didn't feel guilty everytime I drank a coke or ate a candy bar. I never thought a bag of chips could lead to my death. The very worse part of this whole thing is that we do try so very hard to live healthy and happy lives, but we are like that deprevated child that is told No over and over again. It just makes us want those things that much more. I will be the first to say that with all my cutting back on my fat intake and drinking nothing anymore but water, I still am over weight. I would venture to say that I don't eat half as much as I used to and do no frying, but yet cannot lose the extra pounds. Wayne has put on extra weight also, but he does still eat pretty much anything he wants and I will say in pretty big quantities. If he was doing like I do, he would look like a male model.....it's not fair......absolutely NOT FAIR. I always say, I would hate to see what I would look like if I didn't try so very hard. Old age is gonna get us in the end anyway. I think, what's the big deal...even in death do I still crave and desire acceptance, wanting people to view me and say...WOW, she looks so young....and slim......MAN!!! we are really ate up with it. We work so hard for ALL the outwardly things....cars, houses, bodies....always trying to impress, wanting to feel accepted...for the world tells us we should have and desire these things and I know I will keep trying, but I will say, I do think I do it more for just me. Unless and until Wayne can put those smokes down for HIMSELF he will continue to smoke. It has to come from a love you have for yourself. If we all could just love ourselves a little more and give ourselves the gift of time, we might could get more enjoyment out of this stressful world we live in. Till next time.

A Friend On Guard

I got word today that my sister in laws house was broken into. It was in broad daylight and luckily she wasn't home. I have heard of too many burglaries gone bad when a crook is surprised by someone in the house. They were scared off by diligent neighbors who had the sense of mind to take in a description of this potential robber. He was caught and identified by said neighbor. Thank the Lord for people who still will get involved.....so many today would have turned a blinds eye and thought....not my business.

Now, for all you lady's that live alone........GET A DOG!!! In the first place, I can't imagine life without my trusted old friend. I have always had a dog. Our first family dog was Butch, a screw tail bull dog mix. He was one of the family and we loved him dearly. We grew up together. He came into our family when I was a small girl and was with us until I was pregnant with my first child. There have been many dogs since him, each one loved for their own uniqueness and special personality. Dogs can be a great companion. I believe there have been study's done to the fact that people that own pets live happier longer lives. To have something to care for and think about help us not only mentally but physically. I am a true believer in the power of loving, be it animal or human. I know I will always have a dog. They are my hearts desire. Those loving little faces that adore you no matter what. The security of owning a dog is just a bonus. I know they can be pains and troublesome at times, but isn't that true of everything in life. Sister in law.....GET A DOG! Start this new year with a whole new outlook. A sweet little thing to look forward to seeing and greeting when you come home from work. A companion to go on walks together. A warm body in your bed at night. Vigilant eyes and ears that will sound the alarm for your safety. Everyone deserves piece of mind especially in their own homes. Till next time

Old Lady Thoughts

Ok, here I am. I am experiencing a slump in my writing. I don't seem to want to think of things to say, and feel....who cares anyway??? I know I have one avid reader and it is for she that I sit here and write.

Seems that for the past few weeks, my age and the aging process keeps coming to the for front of my thoughts. I am continuously reminded of my decline, in body and mind by almost everything around me. I can be thinking that I am a real hip granny, but then am knocked down with the words that I am NOT with it.......Oh, can it be that I am so delusional. There have been a couple of conversations where I had no clue my metamorphosis into old ageism was rearing it's ugly head. When pointed out to me, I could see it ever so clearly, but when and why did my mind and thoughts go there??? If not for the youthful and always open thinking of Traci, I would be delving into the deep dark corners of my mind that hold the OLD LADY thoughts. One of the conversations I was having was about a commercial on TV with Jessica Simpson accidentally unplugging all the lights in a totally decorated store and saying....MY BAD. I said....what in the world does that mean....that is soooo stupid and ridiculous. I couldn't even get my total statement out of my mouth till Traci is saying.....MAAAA!! that is no different from some of the things your generation said....like groovy and cool.....I was taken aback. I knew she was absolutely right......MY BAD....exactly. Yesterday, the topic was the sagging baggy pants wore by most of today's youth, where the crotch of the pants is down around their knees. In my old lady wisdom, I expressed my dislike of the whole concept of this sort of attire. Once again, I am reminded that each and every generation had their own way of expressing themselves. Mine was halter tops and hip hugging bell bottoms....something, I'm sure even my hip Mom would have never worn, but allowed me to wear it. The generation before that had their own unique style, Bobby socks and Penny loafers and let's not forget the all lurid, gyrating, ELVIS PRESLEY. You would think that at least one generation would stay hip and not condemn the youth for doing the exact same thing they did in their youth. Now, I know there is always the straight laced crowed that never stepped out of their boundaries and thought their own peers were crazy. It was in fact all those ground breaking, thought provoking hippies of the 60's that brought about most of the changes in this country. Now, I know that there are those of you who will say that the demonstrations of the flower children, spreading Peace and Love, was the downfall of this country.....but was it??? Where would we be today if not for women's lib and the burning of the bras. I simply pose the question, it is up to you to decide what you think the right answer is. I am fighting with all my might to stay young, not only in my heart, but in my mind. I feel that if I work on the inside with youthful thoughts and desires the outside will reflect what the inside feels. As with every aspect of our lives, be it relationships, health or just a positive way of thinking, it is a job we must work at continuously. I want to keep myself in check and I know that Traci is gonna be there to make sure I do......THANKS TRACE!!! Till next time

Do You Know Me?

Well folks, I got almost everything I wanted to do yesterday done. I moved furniture....which is almost a need to do thing for me and swept, mopped and wiped all the surfaces of this house. I felt soooo grand at the end of my cleaning spree. Now, my closet is still a mess, but at least I can close the doors on it and know that it awaits my attention when I can spare the time. I have BIG ideas for our computer room......Ya hear that....HONEY!!!! I am gonna need his brute force to get things arranged and brought in from the garage. I know he is gonna be soooo excited to help me in my endeavor.

In reading other blogs of people my age, I am feeling kinda left out. As crazy as it sounds, I feel like the 11 year old trying to hang out with teenagers. I always think I know my age, but when I read some of the statements made from those bloggers, I think good grief, am I the only 50 something person that still has the same likings as they did when they were teens? I know I have grown and matured intellectually, but I am still the same free spirited, fun loving person that I have always been, tho my outer package has changed. I still sing in the car and listen to the radio at every chance. The music transports me and my old body back to my youth and I sing and dance and get down to the vibes........I LOVE IT! I don't stop to think that the young uns in the car next to me probably think I am having a seizure or something. Ageing is a very peculiar thing. It kinda sneaks up on us. The years speeding by ever so quickly. I have been married for almost 35 years, have two grown kids and 4 grand sons, but in my minds eye I am still Sonia. In my heart of hearts, I am still Sonia. I love all the titles that I carry, but I never want to forget that girl named Sonia. No matter the age, that girl lives inside of me. All that I am now, are just appendages of that little girl. In losing sight of that would be losing a big part of me and who I am. If growing up means to forsake that, then I refuse. In order to know me....the real me, you have to know who I am in my core and I feel it to be the same with any of us. Acquaintances, are just that, people we know slightly. Friends, true friends are the people that know you to your core. I feel lucky, in that I have a few FRIENDS in this life. Till next time.

Cleaning Day

I have lots on my agenda today. Our home is in need of some attention this morning. I have let my floors go and they are FILTHY!!! I am gonna have to drag out the mop and everything. My little quick runs through have caught up with me. Everything is soooo dang dusty. You would think we live in Death Valley or the Sahara. I will say, don't think I have actually dusted once since our move in.....yikes!....I hate to admit that. I have really been giving things a lick and a promise, but unless some unknown force stops me, I intend to get things in shape. With the holidays over I am feeling like a spring cleaning coming on. My closet is a nightmare. I just chunked stuff in, forcing things from a nice sized walk in closet to a maybe 4 ft wide 2 ft deep space. It ain't fitten, it just ain't fitten. I don't know that I am gonna go that far today, but it is in my near future. I have already washed a load of clothes and am starting on the second one. I need to strip our bed, which will make 3 loads for the day. Anyhow, I am rushing thru this blog this morning in hopes of some real cleaning to take place. Have a great Monday. Till next time.

Weekend Hello

The house is quiet this morning. I am the only one up. My eyes just seem to pop open a 7:30 every morning. My body and brain doesn't get the weekend thing......I CAN SLEEP LATE......HEEELLLOOOO! Oh well, I am much the morning person. I have energy to spare in the A.M. I feel like putting on my Tenny's and strutting it down the street. Well, the morning couldn't get any better...I just got a call from my brother. I always love to hear from him. Anyway, I don't have anything new to report.....just wanted to say Hi and wish everyone a beautiful weekend. Till next time.

Did Someone Say Girdle

Let's see....what shall I blog about today?? I can start off by saying that I had a wonderful nights sleep. I didn't wake up to go the potty till almost 5:00. I had a couple of brief hot spells, but all and all, I slept GREAT!!! It sure is amazing to me that as soon as I start back with some yoga, my sleeping automatically improves. Wayne and I were turning the lights and TV off at 9:00 last night. I fell right to sleep and I think he did too. I even heard the alarm go off this morning, which is very unusual because he usually is up before it can go off......so I'm thinking, he was doing some pretty deep sleeping.

The sun is coming up and it looks like it's gonna be a gorgeous day. We are having a little cold spell here in Texas this week, but nothing too drastic and as long as the sun shines I kinda enjoy the crisp cool air. Nothing can replace the good ole summertime for me tho. I love the sun, capri's and flip flops. It is always so easy and simple to know what your gonna wear. I have long since stopped wearing shorts, not that my legs are bad looking or anything.....I don't know, I just don't think it fitting for a woman my age to wear shorts. I have what they use to call pedal pushers, which is just another phrase for long shorts. I do wear those and have some guy shorts that hit me around my knees. Something has happened to my body's shape for I can't wear dresses anymore. I keep trying on little sun dresses and am always appalled at the fit of them on me. I think I have come to the place where I need a body girdle to smooth out my midriff rolls. I just never think about a girdle. They weren't part of the bra burning 60's nor the halter top, hip hugger pants of the 70's. I can remember my Mom wearing a girdle and thinking.....what the heck!!!! is she kidding me.....I would never wear such a contraption. Well, here I am eating my words at 53. I can see their place in society now. If you have ever seen Steel Magnolias, Dolly Parton has a line stating that her body doesn't go out without Lycra on it . I still have the 70's mentality, tho my body is definitely in 2008. I'm gonna have to broaden my horizons, step out of my norm and maybe just maybe, I might find a little dress that I feel looks quite well on me. I swear, just the thoughts of putting on that gut squashing thing makes me cringe tho. It's gonna smooth out the middle but then that stuff has to go somewhere.......right? Is it gonna bulge out the bottom, so I can't walk or pooch out the top and suffocate me??? I can see it now....I wear that thing out and within a few hours I am taking it off and sling shooting it across a field somewhere. Now, that I think about it....who needs dresses anyway??? I'm gonna have to get back to ya on this dilemma. Till next time.

Old Age And Deep Thoughts

I am going thru this aching hips, shoulders,and legs syndrome at night. I am continuously waking up to pain that only my constant turning relieves. I always start blaming our mattress for my discomfort, but alas, I think it be just me and my old body reminding me that I am getting older. I can take a pain reliever and it does seem to help, but this is not something I choose to do on a daily basis, so hence, I suffer.
I did some yoga this morning.....first time since before the holidays. I hate that I let so much time go by with no exercise except for an occasional walk. I can definitely tell the difference in the way I feel when I slack off on my exercising......heck, that may be one of my sleeping problems. Those old muscles and bones get all stove up and then tell me about it at night. I too, am having several bouts of hot flashes thru the night. My diet, went to the wayside while doing all the celebrating over the holidays. I am trying to get back to some kind of normalcy......get rid of all that left behind sweets and heavy foods. I think I am gonna try cutting out a BIG portion of the pasta dishes I love so much. I am gonna try the protein route....eating mainly lean meats and veggies. I think I am even going to try to eat more raw veggies, of course, pesticide free.
My thoughts are kinda all over the place this morning. I read The Boomer Chronicles and I find it quite perplexing that I am so out of the norm. All the Boomers talk of their moving away from parents and in doing so, grew up. My family's dynamics seem so completely different than most. Now, you know I was basically raised by a single parent, which I'm sure had something to do with the way I see the world and interact with others. I have always felt that the outside world views the closeness of my relationships with my children, somewhat weird. I got that wanting of always being a part of my children's lives from my Mother. She stayed engaged in our lives till her death and we were the better for it. There were times, when I was a young wife and Mother that I felt she hung on too much. I wished a more self gratifying life for her, apart from us kids. I try to keep myself in check on this point with my own children, trying to make sure they have the space they need as adults living their own lives. It was harder for my Mom because she was always alone. She truly lived vicariously thru her children. I wouldn't want to hinder my kids in any way or take away from their independence. My part is to simply be there for them and enjoy them as the wonderful adults they have become. I know the true love of a friend is scarce. To find friendship in my own family members is the best relationship I can think of. No one loves you like your family does. They will be there till the end......at least that's true in my case. Till next time.

Einstien.....PHOOY!

Last night Wayne and I were invited over to Trace and RB's to watch some educational programs from Nova. The first we watched was Einstein's theory of relativity. To start with, I personally can't imagine anyone sitting around, putting so much thought into such things. I know, if it were left up to me, I guess we would still be dwelling in caves and hunting our food. I just don't get how some people have this drive to solve the questions of the world. I say......WHO CARES???? When and if we really know the answers to some of the questions , will it make any difference as to the outcome of our lives......I think not. Einstein was a real A?? HOLE. He cared nothing about feeding his child nor being a good husband, all he cared about was his deep thought process into light and how it works and the part it plays with everything else. The time devoted to coming up with E=Mc2, totally took away from his family......so I ask, was it all worth it? I wonder if he could have relived his life and changed things........would he??? At the end of his life, as he lay on his death bed, did he think of those he wronged or was he laying there thinking......now, if I am dying, how much energy does it take from my body and is the mass the same.....when and how does the light affect this process......I DON'T THINK SO!!!!! I understand that Science has played a huge part in the way we live and view the world. My way of thinking is so simplistic and I know would have no big impact on our lives, but I do believe that sometimes ignorance is bliss. There are somethings, I just don't want to know, don't have the need to know. These people always searching, hungering for more and more knowledge of our existence miss out on the important things. The biggest being......we are only here for a short time and we have to spend it wisely. I for one think that in the end, all will be unvailed, we will know the truth......that is how it should be. To lust after the question of our existence and how it all works is futile, for only in death will we all know the true answer. Till next time.

A German Town In Texas

Yesterday, Traci, me and the boys traveled to a little town just north of us called Muenster. It is a small German town. We partook of the German cuisine for lunch, which consisted of Reuben sandwiches, Bratwurst, Schnitzel and delicious fried potatoes done with a German flair. We then drove about town. We found a town clock perched above a small grocery store. It chimed every quarter and had figurines of girls and boys dressed in typical German attire. They danced around as the whole thing pivoted around itself........quite interesting. The antique stores beckoned to us and we felt it only right to answer the call. I think the kids enjoyed this outing immensely. Hunt was quite the antique scavenger and found himself some treasures. I, being an old coin lover, found a Mercury head dime pendant. I am thinking the date is 1935, but even with my glasses on it's hard for me to be sure. I do love old coins. I always think of the journey each one must of had. The number of hands and pockets it had been in. The people lives, of whom each one was part of for probably a short time. It can boggle the mind when you really get to thinking about it. We ended our trip with a visit to the German bakery. Traci bought two very delicious smelling strudels to take home. We had an Apple Fritter to delight our taste buds on the way home, with a stop a Sonic for some coffee to go with it........PERFECT!!!! Man, was I full. It was a great, memorable day. Thanks! Guys! Till next time.

My Resolution

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! It is officially 2008. Wayne and I were actually awake at midnight. We finally crawled in the bed about 1:30 or so. I slept till 9:30 this morning.....I haven't done that in years.

I started this blog yesterday morning and am just now getting back to it after a quite extensive interruption. My thoughts still linger and are clear to what I was planning to say. So, here goes.

In this new year, I too am making some resolutions. I intend to work at bettering my relationships with the people I love. I truly believe Dr. Phils adage, that to have a good husband, you must first be a good wife and this holds true for all relationships. I want to be a better person all the way around. I want to know at the end of this year, that I brightened someones day, made someone feel loved, and truly made people feel and see what I hold in my heart. I am and have always been a very soft hearted person. I may spout out things that would lead you to believe that I am hard hearted or cold, but that is so not me. When I love, I love completely and will fight tooth and nail for any one I care about and would go out of my way to help anyone. I feel this is my last encore for this world, never to come again. I so get the meaning of life and what is important. I don't know how many lifetimes it has taken me to get to this knowledge that I have, probably many, but I intend to use it well. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying, I am the perfect person and do no wrong. I am just saying, I try to keep a peace full and forgiving heart.......meaning, I can't stay upset with any one for any length of time. My heart breaks at the idea of some one being hurt or upset at my doings. My intent is never to hurt. Any hurtful words said or wrong deeds done is simply my armor that protects my much to soft heart. I start this new year with the same good in my heart, but I will try and show it more to the outside world. With each passing year, life becomes more precious. The time we have to spend should be spent wisely. We all have to look deep within ourselves, take responsibility for our actions and be the best, we can be. I truely believe, if you put good out, it will come back to you ten fold. Till next time.