These Stressful Times

With all my vitamin taking and exercising I have remained well........so far. Wayne, on the other hand has come down sick. He has a horrible cough and has almost lost his voice. I really feel that his cold would not be quite so severe if he hadn't picked up the cigarettes again. Yes, I hate to say it , but he has been back to smoking for about 2 months or so. Now, as bad as I hate to see him do something so adversely to his health, I will say.....so what!!! Ya know, we all have our vices, wether it be, over eating, drinking too much, popping pills, even those prescribed from a Dr. that we tend to want to over medicate ourselves with. We are a society of addicts. Our lives are so full of stress, even watching TV at night has become a nail biting experience. It is no more wrong to smoke a cigarette than to take a mind altering drug, like those prescribed to the vast majority of people who suffer from depression. I wish for us all, a country that would instead of bombarding us with pills, would give us time off from our stressed out lives. That's what we need....people......time off!!!. I wish Dr's would prescribe a long walk down a shady country road or a nap in a soft cozy hammock hanging in a tree and nothing but birds singing filling the air, with a warm breeze to calm the nerves. I know, we should do these things for ourselves, but we can't get passed what we keep being fed every day and that is you MUST work for that new car, bigger home, college for the kids......MONEY, MONEY, MONEY!!! It is so sad to me to think we live our whole lives getting up going to a workplace that most of us hate, to spend the entire day, come home to the family that has experienced their own stressed out crap, have a little interaction with these people, go to bed, start the whole thing over again. Over and Over till one day we wake up and we are OLD.....wow! then we get to retire. All our youth spent, we finally get to do what we want to....which is spend our days sitting and thinking where did my life go?? I'm OLD and TIRED and used up. WHY....OH, WHY did I want that new car every year....WHY, did I think I had to have a HUGE house when there was just two people to live in it. If we could just know back then what we know now, I know I would have definately strived for that freedom to come much much sooner. I'm not going to condem Wayne for smoking. The sad thing is that he really doesn't enjoy it like he did in his youth. The knowledge we have today is stressful in and of itself. Ignorance really is bliss. I remember when I too enjoyed smoking. I also remember when I didn't feel guilty everytime I drank a coke or ate a candy bar. I never thought a bag of chips could lead to my death. The very worse part of this whole thing is that we do try so very hard to live healthy and happy lives, but we are like that deprevated child that is told No over and over again. It just makes us want those things that much more. I will be the first to say that with all my cutting back on my fat intake and drinking nothing anymore but water, I still am over weight. I would venture to say that I don't eat half as much as I used to and do no frying, but yet cannot lose the extra pounds. Wayne has put on extra weight also, but he does still eat pretty much anything he wants and I will say in pretty big quantities. If he was doing like I do, he would look like a male model.....it's not fair......absolutely NOT FAIR. I always say, I would hate to see what I would look like if I didn't try so very hard. Old age is gonna get us in the end anyway. I think, what's the big deal...even in death do I still crave and desire acceptance, wanting people to view me and say...WOW, she looks so young....and slim......MAN!!! we are really ate up with it. We work so hard for ALL the outwardly things....cars, houses, bodies....always trying to impress, wanting to feel accepted...for the world tells us we should have and desire these things and I know I will keep trying, but I will say, I do think I do it more for just me. Unless and until Wayne can put those smokes down for HIMSELF he will continue to smoke. It has to come from a love you have for yourself. If we all could just love ourselves a little more and give ourselves the gift of time, we might could get more enjoyment out of this stressful world we live in. Till next time.