Another Diet

I don't know what today is gonna be like , but I was quite irritated yesterday. I started a CRASH diet and I think it is already MAKING ME ANGRY! I am keeping total of the calories I eat and am only allowing myself 1000 a day. Yesterday I ended the day with only eating 755. It SUCKS!!!

My motivation is no other than...... WAYNE! Yes, my beloved is shedding pounds like you wouldn't believe. He, as you know does have his cigarettes to help curb his appetite and he gets those energizing packets to take each day. He has totally cut out breakfast and lunch and only eats dinner. He is already down 12 lbs in just a few weeks. The amazing thing to me is that he eats exactly what and how much he wants to at the dinner meal...... including, BIRTHDAY CAKE! I am so freakin envious of him.

I try so hard to lose those pounds in a healthy manner, but I can see that the good old stand by....JUST DON'T EAT!, is gonna have to come in to play this time. All the flushing, watching what I eat, exercising and I haven't lost a pound. Ok, that's it....game on....I AM GONNA LOSE SOME WEIGHT!!!

I looked up a calorie counter web site yesterday and intend to stay with it for as long as it takes. I was amazed that fruit had as many calories as it does. A medium sized banana has 100 calories.....that was my snack yesterday. I also went to a web site that helps you calculate what you should weigh according to your height, well, let me tell you, I would be a stick person if I weighed the 135 to 139 lbs that it said I should. I will be totally happy if I can get down to 150. There was a time, many years ago, that even 135 would have been over weight to me, but that body doesn't exist anymore and I don't even try and think I could get back to the weight I was in High school. That was a young girls body, for some reason the sand gets heavier as we age....or, maybe, we don't have sand as young people.

I really HATE getting caught up in the body image thing....cause that's all it is. I feel great at this weight and do whatever I want to do. My stamina doesn't seem to be affected by my extra pounds. I am like everyone else and would love to be wearing smaller sized clothes and I am going to really try hard this time to make that happen.

I'm gonna work on being happy for Wayne and give him the encouragement I would and do want from him. I think his motivation was his birthday and turning 53. He really gets caught up in the number....I say, it's just a number and ya know what???? so is our weight. Till next time