I got my day started off right. I didn't sit at this computer all morning.....I got myself dressed and out to Wally's before 8:30, hoping to beat the heat. I made a mad dash around the store, quickly checked out putting some cash on my Wally card to get mower gas. I was back home in a flash and headed for the back yard to get it mowed and looking nice.
The whole time I was mowing I was thinking about my yesterday's blog and how I must come off to some of you. I kept thinking....WHY am I so passionate and down right belligerent about those in our society that always seem to need help and those that are always there to make sure they do. I started thinking about it in a personal way.
I thought about my Dad, who was one that never held a job for any amount of time and throughout his entire life depended on others, be it his Mother before she passed, my Mom, other women that have no names or faces, a boyhood friend, who was always coming to his aid and last, but certainly not least my sister, who cared for him when old age and hard living had destroyed his health. I thought....if my grandmother ( his Mother) would have taught him self reliance and built his esteem to where he felt he could be self sufficient, could he have been the MAN that my Mom always wanted him to be. Instead she made sure that he stay dependant and unable to not only care for anyone else, but not even be able to care for himself. He died totally alone and I know he never felt sorrow for the way he conducted his life while he was living , but I wonder, in his last breathe, did he feel sorrow, was he remorseful that he had no relationships with his children and take responsibility that HE was the cause of it.
I had a total, eye opening, light bulb moment, in that, I could clearly see why my Mom could not stay married to him. It wasn't because of his inabilities, per say, it was she loved him enough to expect MORE from him, knew he could do better....not that he didn't do it, but rather that he chose not to do it and felt no remorse for his decisions. That's it in a nutshell. It is because I care so intently that those always seeking the help of others are doing nothing to gain self reliance or self worth. The worse they feel about themselves the more that has to be done for them. The Do Gooders, as I call them are doing the same thing to these people that my grandmother did to my Dad. I expect MORE from people, because I think they are worth it. It BURNS me up that they won't live up to the wonderful human beings that they could be. I questioned, when a woman is sitting in church and praying to God to help her, because she doesn't know where she is going to get the money to buy,...say......school supplies for her child. All the while she sits there knowing that she spent money on fake fingernails and that took president over her child's needs.....does she think that God is going to answer that prayer.... do YOU think he should????Do you think she should be helped by some charitable source? It's like the criminals that tell the outside world of their repentance, but God sees into their hearts and KNOWS the only thing they are sorry for is that they are in prison, with no thought of WHY they are there. Are they delusional to think that HE doesn't know the truth??? That they may as well say I DID IT!!!! and I don't care cause he sees what's in their hearts. I am the exact same way. I can forgive anything, if I know the person has true, heartfelt remorse and will try their hardest to do better, but to try and play on my sympathy and make me believe that they can do no better for themselves.....I will never buy. I DO expect people to carry their own loads. Be responsible enough to know that they created that load. It is they that should shoulder the heaviest burden of it. Then in dire time of need, one hands up....not hand out could come to their aid. We need to teach people to seek out their inner strength, stand on their own two feet, be responsible for their lives. That's the way God intended it to be. Till next time
No comments:
Post a Comment