Birthday Bashing

Wayne had a terrific birthday.......good for him. I just hope he remembers the nice things done for him when it comes MY BIRTHDAY. I hate that most of the men, in my life anyway, have no responsibility in the gift giving department. Wayne has never had to put one thought in any birthday present for anybody nor Christmas present either. I know that most of that is my own fault. I am the one that never requested his presence at our children's birthday party's. I don't know why I thought it not the man thing to do....YES I DO!!!!, because I was programed to believe that any dealings of the giving sort or of showing emotions was for women. I have tried for years to rectify this, but to no avail.......he not only can't buy someone a present he doesn't even want to. He hates having to put thought into anything for someone else. I don't like being the only one responsible for all the GIVING!!!! I admit, I do like getting presents for people.....I always get more joy from the giving than the receiving. Maybe, I just want something to gripe about, but what is it about men that make them believe they shouldn't have to worry with such things. I have always told him that it is the thought that counts and not really the present, well that came back to bite me in the butt also. He would let Christmas or my birthday pass and tell me.....he THOUGHT about getting me this or that and this was suppose to give him some brownie points....I DON'T THINK SO!!! He has always copped out, with one excuse or another....one big one being....I have to work, when am I going to have time to go shopping or I don't know what to get anybody. You would think after 30 plus years of being married to me he might have some inkling as to some things I like. I always try to make the birthday person feel like it is their special day....cause it is. I just wish once he would want that in return for me too. Oh, he will be the first to say happy birthday, but that is usually the extent of it. He always expects me to tell him what to get and if I don't request anything that's exactly what I get.....NOTHING!!! This way of thinking goes for ALL days requiring a gift or card, such as Mother's day or Father's day or any of the other days needing a thought for someone else. Mother's day I was told....YOUR Not My Mother. He is so right, but I am THE Mother of HIS children, shouldn't I be honored by him for that? I was the one in the kitchen baking HIS Mother a cake for Mother's day, he saw nothing wrong with that at all and there wasn't anything wrong with me thinking of my Mother in Law on Mother's day, but what energies did he use in his gift of thought for his Mother? I went thru years of doing all the Christmas present buying and never thought a thing about it, but as I have gotten older and it is just him and me these things way on my mind. If I should leave this world before him, it will be strictly on him then to think of others on these special days. We all have to take responsibility ourselves for being loving and caring and GIVING people. What will he say then....your Mother always did all that, I don't know how???? That will surely make someone feel special...huh? When I think of him on this earth alone...what will become of him? Is it all just a roll he plays cause he knows he can and in my demise he will be a completely different person....one who can cook for himself and clean for himself and last but not least GIVE of himself to others....I sure do hope so cause it will be a lonely existence if he chooses to remain so self involved and not show the love he has for others in his actions. What's the old saying....Actions speak louder than words. Till next time.